


Always

by Digitallywriting



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff and Angst, It just happened, Kara Danvers and Lena Luthor in Love, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, No Smut, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, alex is kind of bitch, also james, and everything in it, he's an antagonist cus fuck him, i didn't even mean to write her as a bitch, i dont know him, just saying, lena deserves the world, lena's mum is a milf, or maybe im not sure yet, we hate mon-el
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-03-29 22:06:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19028878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Digitallywriting/pseuds/Digitallywriting
Summary: Lena finds out Kara's secret through her brother Lex. she feels broken, lost. how will she cope with this new discovery? can she forgive and forget? Kara is her best friend after all. or will this betrayal be the last nail in the Luthor coffin?





	1. Tidal Wave

The gun shook a little in Lena’s hand. Her knuckles turned white from the grip she had on the handhold, her fingers digging into the grooves of the gun. Lex was on the floor, looking up at his sister in surprise. His hand was lifted partway into the air in defense.  
“Didn’t know you had it in you, little sis,” Lex said, the ghost of a smile playing across his face. Even this close to death, he was a cocky little shit, Lena thought to herself. The gun was already cocked, all she had to do was pull the trigger. So what was stopping her? Maybe it was the fact that this would solidify her place in the Luthor house. She would be no better than her brother, or her mother if she was to do this. What would Kara think, if she found out? Of course, Kara was never going to find out. Lena would never jeopardize her first real friendship by telling her she had murdered her brother. Not in cold blood, he deserved everything he had coming for him, but still. Kara would run in the other direction, Lena had no doubt. The gun lowered fractionally in her hand, enough to let Lex’s shoulders relax.  
“Nice and easy, we both knew you weren’t going to use that,” Lex said. His words burned through her.  
“You spent your entire life underestimating me, of course, you wouldn’t stop now, even when I have the upper hand,” Lena said, surprised by the steadiness of her voice. Lex scoffed a little, now seemingly completely relaxed. It pissed Lena off that he didn’t see her as a threat any more than you might an angry puppy. Her hand felt slick with sweat and she had to readjust her grip on the gun to prevent it from slipping out of her hand. She raised the gun once more, closing one eye to correct her positioning. She aimed it to the left of his chest. He shuffled up into more of a sitting position and gave Lena a grim smile.  
“You won’t d—” The gun fired loud in Lena’s ears before she knew what was happening. A strangled cry was released from Lex, and Lena watched in surprise as Lex’s hand went to the increasing stain of blood blooming across his shirt. Lena dropped her hand, taking a deep, bracing breath. Lex looked at her with an expression Lena couldn’t decipher. Betrayal? No, he should have seen this coming.  
“You look like you want to say something,” Lena said. Lex opened and closed his mouth. “Go on, speak. Make your last words count.”  
It took Lex a couple of seconds to get his words out, Lena waiting with anxious anticipation.  
“Your friend… Kara,” Lex started. Lena felt her heart thump heavier in her chest at the mention of her name. A thousand thoughts flitted through her mind at once. What could he have to say about her? Was she okay? Did he hurt her? Before she could demand answers, he started talking again.  
“You think you know her so well? She’s been lying to you, all… this time. Your friend… is Supergirl.” He grinned up at her, his teeth stained with blood. The gun slid out of Lena’s hands as she stumbled backward. Grabbing onto the side of the wall for support, she tried to take in a breath but found she couldn’t. Her heartbeat pounded through her fingertips and her vision blurred over with tears.  
“H-how..” She could barely form words in her mind, let alone out loud.  
“That’s right… you don’t know her as well as you thought,” Lex grinned. Lena couldn’t bear to face him anymore. She turned on her hell and stumbled out of the room, leaving her brother to die on the floor, alone. 

Lena wandered National City aimlessly. The moon was just starting to appear over the horizon, the street illuminated only by the shop lights and the street lamps. She had been ruminating on what Lex had told her, and the more she thought about it, the more sense it made. Kara, Supergirl, Supergirl, Kara. How had she not been able to spot it before? They even look the same. Those glasses had fooled Lena for years. She felt stupid, ridiculous, foolish. All those times they had been attacked and Lena had gone out of her way to protect Kara, not knowing that Kara could look after herself better than she could. Was anything about Kara real then? Or had she lied about other things too? Lena didn’t know what to believe anymore if she could believe anything. She had walked the block several times before she made a beeline to L-Corp. Ashley greeted her enthusiastically when she walked through to the reception.  
“Hey, boss!” She chirped. Lena looked right through Ashley, not really seeing her at all. Ashley must have noticed this, because she shrank back, letting Lena pass through to the elevator. Once she was back in her office, she broke down. She barely made it through the door when she collapsed onto her knees. She pulled her hair out of the neat bun she had put it in this morning, letting her hair fall into her face. She gripped strands on either side of her head tightly in her fists, pulling enough to hurt her scalp. She opened her mouth, but no sound came out. Squeezing her eyes shut, she sobbed in silence, in her unlit office, until she passed out from exhaustion.


	2. hypothetically

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena confides in someone, and gets annoyed at Kara

Lena woke up still on the floor, curled up in the fetal position. She dragged herself up and trod over to the mirror. Her eyes were still red, having cried through most of the night. Her tears had stuck chunks of hair onto one side of her face. Her mascara had run all the way down to her jaw, leaving crusty black lines. She looked a mess. Looking in that mirror, she didn’t recognize the person that stared back. She no longer felt sad, however. She felt hollow inside. Numb. She now had nobody. Her life had gone full circle; she had gone from having no-one, to finding Kara, only to lose her. She didn’t know what to do. Should she confront Kara about her discovery? Should she pretend she didn’t know and continue being her friend? Or should she pack a bag and leave National City, start a new life in England, or somewhere? She had no doubt that if Lena vanished without warning, Kara would spend every waking minute looking for her. That’s just the kind of person she was. Or.. maybe that was all just a façade. She couldn’t trust anything Kara does or has done.   
Lena bathed and dressed quickly, making sure to wipe away any signs of last night. Stepping out of the bathroom, she caught a glimpse of her phone lit up on her desk. Kara was phoning her. Lena picked her phone up, looking at the little picture of her and Kara embracing that she had set as Kara’s picture. Then, without a second thought, she dropped the phone back onto the table. It fell screen-side down, and the light went dark. A knock at her door brought Lena back into reality. Ashley walked in sheepishly, holding a coffee. Lena gave her a smile laced with sweetener. Ashley relaxed immediately.   
“Hey, boss. You look a lot better this morning. What happened last night?” She asked.   
“I don’t see how that’s any of your business,” Lena snapped then, seeing Ashley’s face drop, sighed. “What would you do if, theoretically, you found out a close friend of yours had been lying to you for years?” Lena asked, hoping she wasn’t being too obvious. Ashley gave a little squeal and hopped fully into the office.   
“Oooh, gossip!” She said. Lena shook her head, already regretting her decision.   
“There’s no gossip, just answer the question,” Lena said.   
“Well, it would depend on the lie. If, for example, they had been lying about their age, then it wouldn’t mean anything to me,” Ashley said.   
“What if the lie was a big one like they were hiding a part of their identity?” Lena pushed.   
“I’m sure they would’ve had a good reason for doing so. Are you very close to this theoretical person?” Ashley asked. Lena nodded, afraid that if she opened her mouth she would give it all away. As much as she resented Kara right now, she would never want to tell anybody what she had found out.   
“Do you feel like you could tell this person anything? Theoretically?”   
Lena wanted to be able to tell Kara anything and everything, and she pretty much had. But she had never told Kara about the stash of kryptonite she had never gotten rid of. Lena guessed that was a pretty big secret. The hypocrisy made Lena cringe.   
“I take that silence as a yes. I think you shouldn’t think too hard about it. They obviously had a reason to keep something from you, especially if it's as massive as you claim. I'd be more annoyed if my friend kept something small from me. Like their age.” Lena wondered if Ashley had had a friend who lied to her about her age. Then she remembered she couldn’t care less.   
“Ok, thank you, Ashley. You can go now,” Lena dismissed her. She wasn’t sure if that had been helpful or not, but she couldn’t deny the fact that a small part of her wanted to forgive and forget. Lena had, after all, kept something from Kara as well. But at least that secret hadn’t two years of friendship. Her phone began flashing again, and on a whim, Lena picked it up and answered. Kara’s chirpy voice rung loud on the other end of the phone.   
“Lena! If you hadn’t picked up this time, I would’ve come over to see if you were alright. Are you alright?”   
“Yeah, I’m fine, Kara. Do you need anything?” Kara must have missed the hint of aggression in Lena’s voice because she continued.   
“Just wanted to see if you’d like to get lunch with me when I’m on break. You don’t have to of course, if you have meetings today.” For once Lena wished she had a meeting today, but alas, her calendar was free.   
“Yeah I can do lunch,” Lena said.   
“Great! I’ll see you at Cat Co at one!” Kara said.   
“Yeah,”   
Lena hung the phone up after a minute more of conversation, with the excuse that Ashley was at the door. Lena made her way over to the elevator in her office, pressing the level below the basement, a button only accessible to Lena. Tapping her foot anxiously, she waited for the elevator doors to ping open and let Lena out. She followed the ominous green glow down another flight of stairs and to her safe. She entered the code quickly, making sure to cover the keypad. There were no security cameras anywhere because of the security of the place, but she could never be too careful. The safe door opened silently. Lena had to shield her eyes from the sudden bright green glow. Once her eyes had adjusted to the sudden change in light, she stepped into the safe. She felt a twang of guilt at the sight of all the kryptonite. She felt sick at the idea that even a third of this would be enough to kill Kara. She almost stopped and turned back, but decided to hold her ground. What she was doing would not hurt Kara, it would just shock her a little bit. Lena found the smallest piece of Kryptonite she could find, the size of a dime. Slipping into her pocket, she hastily left the safe and made it back to her office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed! I'll let you in on a secret, I have no idea who Ashley is. also, Grammarly literally saved this chapter, I wrote this at half three in the morning and my god the spelling errors were enough to give someone an aneurysm.


	3. weakness

Lena made it to Cat Co five minutes late. Kara was standing outside, her hair done up in a loose ponytail, her glasses firmly on the bridge of her nose. Lena wondered momentarily what would happen if she yanked those glasses off her. When Kara saw her, she ran over, arms wide, and encircled Lena in a hug. Lena reciprocated after a second, gingerly folding her arms around Kara’s waist. Lena couldn’t help but notice the coco-nutty smell of Kara’s shampoo. Lena was the first to pull away. Kara grinned up at her; the heels she was wearing added two inches to her height, making her taller than Kara.   
“Hey, stranger. Follow me, I set up a picnic on the balcony,” Kara took Lena’s hand and led her through the offices up to the top balcony. She exchanged a couple of awkward hellos with Nia and James, who averted his eyes almost immediately. Lena had broken things off with James over a month ago. Looking back at their relationship, she struggled to see why she started dating him in the first place; there was no spark, they barely had anything in common. He had just been… there.   
Lena watched Kara pull out one of the wooden chairs and take a seat in front of the circular table on the balcony. A small pot of tulips sat in the middle of the table, wilting slowly from lack of watering. Lena took her place opposite her. An array of finger sandwiches, crisps, and cakes all sat waiting on the table. A bottle of white wine and two large glasses were also on the table.   
“Wow, you really went all out,” Lena said, mildly astounded that Kara had gone to all this trouble. She had to remind herself that it was still Kara and that her entire personality wouldn’t change just because Lena knew her true identity.   
“Yeah, well I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever, and I know I saw you yesterday but still. I wanted some alone time. Just us two,” Kara said. Lena looked through the glass doors into the office, bustling with people. A couple of them sent curious glances through the door at the two of them. Lena saw one of them mouth ‘date’. Her cheeks flushed a light pink that she hid by pretending to cover her mouth with her hand and yawning.   
“Are you tired?” Kara asked.   
“I didn’t sleep well last night,” Lena said. She leaned over to pick up one of the small sandwiches and a handful of the crisps. Kara did the same.   
“Is this about Lex?” Kara asked cautiously. Lena shook her head.   
“I really don’t want to talk about my brother. We’re here to have fun, catch up. How are you?” Lena asked, changing the subject quickly. The two of them talked and ate for over an hour before Lena threw in the question she had been psyching herself up to say.   
“Do you know how Supergirl is?” Lena asked over the top of her glass of wine. She prayed that it sounded casual. Kara’s eyebrows flitted up.   
“Have you two made up?” Kara asked. Lena had to give her credit for her acting skills, although, she has had two years of practice. Lena waved her hand dismissively.   
“Yeah we’re all fine now, I just haven’t seen her in a while. Besides watching her in action on the TV.” Lena said. She spent the next couple seconds scrutinizing Kara’s reaction. It felt like such a surreal thing, to have this knowledge, to have this kind of power over Kara. Lena could practically see the cogs whirring through Kara’s mind as she struggled to come up with an answer.   
“I haven’t seen her. I think you may be friendlier with her than I am,” Kara replied, taking a sip of her wine and avoiding Lena’s eyes. Lena had to suppress a scoff. She couldn’t comprehend how she had been so blind to Kara’s bullshit. She was a truly awful liar. Lena replied with an unenthusiastic ‘oh?’, and swigged the rest of her drink. Slamming the glass down onto the table a little too hard, Lena stood up from her chair. Kara looked up at her, a little shocked.   
“Are you alright?” Kara asked.   
“I just realized I had a meeting scheduled. I have to go,” Lena said.   
“Oh, but you said you didn’t—” Kara started but Lena cut her off harshly.   
“Well, I guess I forgot,” Lena walked back into the offices, making a beeline for the elevator, ignoring everyone’s curious looks. Lena felt guilt gnaw at the deepest part of her subconscious, and as the elevator doors slid shut, Lena caught sight of Kara looking dejectedly down at the table. 

Lena didn’t go back to L-corp, she didn’t think she would be able to handle seeing anybody. Her meeting with Kara brought all of her emotions to the surface. She had to get out of there before she blew her top. She didn’t want to tell Kara yet. She wanted to do it on her own terms, for the first time in her life, she wanted to be in control of something.   
The soft green glow of kryptonite emanated from the pocket of her hung-up blazer. She watched the light dance off of her pale bedroom walls, fascinated that such a small piece of rock would be able to cause Kara serious damage. That wasn’t what she wanted, however, she had to remind herself of that. She would not hurt Kara. She would not hurt Kara. She just wanted to prove a point, she wanted to give herself the higher ground. She could not stand feeling so out of power. She hastily removed the kryptonite from her pocket, placing into a small metal box, obscuring the glow completely. She placed the box gently in her bedside drawer. She settled in for one of the most restless nights of her life. 

Kara sat slumped on her sofa. Alex sat across from her, leaning over on her knees, concern written all over her face.   
“You haven’t even touched your Chinese,” Alex stated, nodding to the unopened box of Chinese takeaway. Kara had her arms folded protectively over her body. She hadn’t said anything since asking Alex to come over.   
“You need to talk to me at some point. I’m here for a reason, Kara,” Alex said. Kara could barely hear her. She felt ten feet underwater, struggling to breathe and unable to come up for air. A million different scenarios ran around her mind, each worse than the other.  
“Lena hates me. I’ve done something, I don’t know what, but she hates me,” Kara mumbled. Alex tutted.   
“I’m sure that’s not true. She’s probably just having one of those days,” Alex reasoned, but Kara shook her head.   
“No, no. I know Lena. She would tell me if she was having an off day, but she’s mad at me, I can feel it,” Kara says, her heartbeat thundering in her ears. Alex leaned over and squeezed Kara’s knee reassuringly. Kara could not have felt less reassured. Hot tears began to prick her eyes, and she had to blink hard a couple of times until her vision cleared.   
“What did I do?” She asked, her voice barely a whisper.   
“Nothing. You’ve done nothing wrong. Everything you have done has been to protect the city, and your friends, including Lena. The best thing you can do is be upfront about it. You guys are so close, I’m positive you’ll figure whatever this is out,” Alex gave her a small, pitiful smile, then sat back. Kara didn’t feel any better about the situation but decided to grin and bear it, for her sisters' sake. She sat forward and dug into her Chinese, feeling sick to her stomach.   
Kara didn’t remember falling asleep. One moment she was gazing at the TV absentmindedly, the next she was being woken up by the blare of her phone's alarm. Leaning over the sofa, she switched her phone off and clawed her way into a sitting position. Light filtered through the closed blinds of her apartment, illuminating Kara’s pale face and messy hair. Her glasses sat downwards on the table, the lenses no doubt scratched. Not that it mattered either way. She got dressed slowly, still drowsy, constantly checking to make sure it really was a Saturday. It was, so she had nowhere to be and nothing to do. Unless the City needed Supergirl, of course. Her costume was hung up on the inside of her closet, hidden from prying eyes. She needed to talk to Lena. She had to tell her. It wasn’t fair on either of them to keep this secret. Kara considered Lena to be her best friend, she loved Lena more than almost anything in the world. She couldn’t describe how she felt around Lena, but she knew they had a connection strong enough to withstand this. Right? Kara was a green button away from calling Lena when J’onns face appeared on her screen. With a small sigh, she accepted the call.   
“Yeah?” She asked.   
“We need Supergirl. There’s a fight going down in the middle of the street, parks and third. Some alien gang got aggressive. We were prepared to handle it ourselves, but it’s become out of hand. We need backup,” J’onn explained. Kara nodded and hung up quickly, rushing to her closet to throw on her leotard and swinging open the large window. 

The street fight had started off small. Lena had been making a routine coffee around when she heard shouts coming from outside ‘Ricks bar’. A bulky blue alien, backed up with four others, was prodding a large finger into the chest of a human gang leader. Lena’s breath caught in her throat. She would not allow herself to be caught up in the middle of a gang fight. It wasn’t even noon yet. Lena quickly ran around the back alley of the coffee shop, no longer in sight of the aliens, but she still had a clear view of what was going on. She considered calling Alex, then changed her mind. Within twenty minutes, the fight had escalated, with the entirety of the bar coming out to join in. Lena watched with apprehension as bottles were smashed and flung, and punches were thrown. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a young girl, couldn’t be older than 16, walk down the street, in the direction of the fight. Lena swore under her breath and emerged from her hiding place. She tried to get the girls attention, but her eyes were glued to her phone. Lena shot a fearful glance to the fight, noticing the familiar sparks of a magic trick on the blue alien's fingers. Lena couldn’t do anything as the girl bumped into one of the smaller blue aliens. Her phone slipped from her fingers, smashing on the concrete. She looked up in surprise. The alien snarled and shoved the girl. Lena saw pale blue froth begin foaming from his mouth and knew something was going horribly wrong. Claws erupted from the knuckles of the alien, ridged and sharp, like a serrated knife. Lena ran out, fully prepared to throw herself in front of the claws. She got about five feet from the alien when she was knocked to the ground. She squeezed her eyes shut and wrapped her arms around herself protectively as she hit the hard pavement. After a couple of seconds, she opened her eyes and saw Kara, or Supergirl, looking down at her. She had both hands on either shoulder.   
“You good?” She asked quickly. Her voice was unmistakably Kara. Lena, unable to do anything else, nodded. Kara pushed herself off of Lena, staggering a little. She reached a hand down and Lena grasped it. Kara pulled her up, although, Lena noticed she was struggling a little bit. Was she injured already?   
“Stay behind me,” Kara said, examining the scene. Nobody had seemed to notice Supergirl’s arrival yet.   
“Something isn’t right with these people. They’re…” Lena stopped, unsure of how to finish her sentence. Kara finished it for her.   
“Rabid.”   
Supergirl surged forward, knocking the alien over before he could get his claws in the girl. Lena grabbed ahold of the child, pulling her up and pushing her away from the scene. The girl didn’t hesitate to take off running in the opposite direction. Lena stood back a little, feeling useless as Supergirl charged. She kicked and swung punch after iron punch, knocking back the aliens. But, Lena saw, she was tiring quickly. Her punches were becoming weaker and she was slowly but surely being overpowered. While holding up the wrist of one of the humans, she spoke in a breathless tone into her wrist.   
“I need backup. I can’t—” She stopped as she was yanked backward by one of the aliens. She let out a yelp as her back impacted on the ground. One of the aliens let out a grim laugh as he dragged her back by her hair. All the other aliens were watching with glee. Supergirl was losing. Lena looked around for something she could use to get the alien off of her, but the streets were empty. As a last resort, she bent down and took her heels off. Grabbing one by the front she lunged at the alien, hitting him over the head with the heel. It wasn’t enough to get him off of her, but it was enough to startle him momentarily. Enough for Kara to untangle herself from him and stand up. Lena pressed a hand to Kara’s arm to make sure she was okay, and Kara sucked in a pained breath. Lena dropped her arm. The realization hit her like a building. She had put the kryptonite in her pocket this morning. That’s why Kara was off her game. Kara must have figured it out too because the look she gave Lena was full of horror and pain. Lena staggered backward, trying to get as far from Kara as possible. She turned around and ran, the uneven pavement digging into her bare feet. She ran until she couldn’t hear the fight anymore. The kryptonite in her pocket felt heavy with the weight of betrayal. She wondered if this made her and Kara even. She wondered what Kara must be thinking right now; did she think Lena had it to deliberately throw her off her game? How was Lena to know there was going to be a massive fight in the middle of the street that Lena and Kara ended up caught up in? Lena thumbed the small box. She didn’t even think the kryptonite would affect her obscured in the metal box. Oh god, what had she done? She had made a terrible mistake. Lena took off in the direction of L-corp. 

Once Lena had run off, all the strength returned to Kara, but she could no longer focus on the fight. Why did Lena have Kryptonite on her? There could only be so many reasons, and all of them involved hurting Kara. Alex and the DMV arrived quickly, once Kara requested backup, and they managed to sequester most of the lead aliens and humans. Kara watched with her arms folded as Alex noted their strange behaviors.   
“It looks like they’ve been induced with something. Poison or a drug that’s making them act so feral,” She said to Kara. Kara nodded in reply.   
“Have you spoken to Lena?” She asked as the aliens were taken away for closer examination.   
“You could say that,” Kara paused briefly, meeting Alex’s eyes. “She had kryptonite on her. I thought she had gotten rid of it all. I told her to. In her pocket, I could sense it,” Kara explained. Alex’s eyes went wide.   
“Why?” She asked. Kara shrugged.   
“I told you, she hates me. This is… I don’t know what this is. How can I talk to her now, what if she tries to use it on me?” Kara hated the thought, but ever since her brother had made a reappearance in her life, Lena had been different. More secluded.   
“What if it’s Lex? What if he brainwashed her, or is blackmailing her or, or..” Kara stopped before she could fully fly off the handles. Alex looked furious.   
“I’m going to talk to her,” She said. Kara shook her head pleadingly.   
“No, don’t, this isn’t like Lena. She’s under some kind of influence I don’t know. Lena wouldn’t do this, she wouldn’t hurt me,” Kara said.   
“Well, maybe you don’t know her as well as you thought,” Alex said, walking over to the DMV truck and jumping into the back of it. Kara watched the trucks disappear out of sight and then collapsed by the side of the road. She brought her knees up to her chest, not caring who saw and cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are always greatly appreciated. i dont know a writer who doesnt adore getting comments on their work. hope you're enjoying the story

**Author's Note:**

> Now I haven't watched any of the new season, not voluntarily, I just can't find a website to watch it on. But through tumblr, I know what happens and oh my god the angst!! I'm all for that angst and I can't wait to see Lena around Kara in the next season. I wanted to write my own version of what will happen. Sorry if there are inconsistencies in the story, once again I haven't watched the season so I am not entirely caught up in what actually happened.  
> I've also made my peace with Supercorp not being canon in the show, but it will be in the book because I'm so in love with the idea of them in a romantic relationship.  
> Hope you enjoyed


End file.
